cyberspace junkyard

Found it! My template disappeared in the meantime though and just spent 20 minutes rebuilding my customisations.

Fun for the whole family

Marxism; Socialism; Communism; Capitalism... Jollyism?

Well, it's time to record for posterity some of the theories which have evolved out of the deep recesses of my brain at times when I probably should have been fast asleep but instead was in a semi-coherent state, trying to rationalise something.

I've always told my friends that one day, I'd write a book, but I guess I'll have to settle for writing a blog.

The Circle Theory
Well, I think that as humans, we have relationships with any number of people. Is every friendship that we have completely random, or can we define them into categories depending on how we relate to them. Well, I believe that we can roughly identify our friends via concentric circles.

The inner first circle consists only of your closest friends - though who know you emotionally and mentally. If you're married or attached, this should usually be your partner. You might also have what other people term "best friends" in your inner first circle. Mind you, not everyone has someone in their inner first circle - some people like to maintain a boundary of some sort between their friends and themselves, and would not trust someone so completely as to allow them into their inner circle. You would usually see these people regularly, and if not, then at least long to see them regularly. They are the first people you tell when something major happens. The first people you turn to for reassurance and advice.

Slightly outside your inner circle is your outer first circle. This consists of people that you would hang out with regularly - if you had a dinner party of 6, this would be it. They know you pretty well, and you really look forward to the times you get to talk and catch up with them. Your outer first circle usually know who other people in your first circle are - that's how close they are. They may or may not be in each other's first circles though. Think "The Secret Life of Us".

Next we have the 2nd circle. These are people you socialise with regularly or would hang out with after work, through uni, church, school or neighbourhood connections. They know some of the major events in your life and know you well enough to pick suitable birthday presents, at least. If someone was throwing you a surprise party - these friends would definitely make the cut. While you might not share much one on one time with them, other than an occasional chat at a larger gathering, you do count them as good friends.

Expanding a little bit more and we have the 3rd circle. I usually reserve this for friends who I haven't seen in a while but might receive a postcard or email from every now and then. Maybe it's someone you used to go to school with but don't see all that often. You might have mutual friends and so meet up by pure circumstance. While you might not make a special effort to keep in contact, on the most part, when the occasion arises, you'd be quite happy to see them.

4th circle friends are those who you would probably stop and have a 2 minute chat with on the street, before making some excuse to rush off. They're a little more than acquaintances, and you keep the friendship alive when you do happen to bump into each other, but wouldn't ever make the effort to call them or meet up with them.

Of course, you could continue forever, but I usually end with 5th circle friends - people you've met only a couple of times, or perhaps people you've met quite often, but never make a deep enough impression to remember their name! You'd nod or mouth "hello" if you saw them, but wouldn't really give them more than a moment's thought.

So there you have it! The circle theory. Now, of course, you will always get friends who don't sit in any of these circles - these rare exceptions belong in their own box. There are also a number of guidelines as to how people move in and out of circles. An example of this is if you've broken up with someone who used to be in your inner first circle. Try as you might to be 2nd circle friends straight away, you can't just brush past the fact that you need to spend some time as 3rd or 4th circle friends in order for the bonds there to dissipate somewhat. This is when you can usually make the slow progression to 2nd circle friends.

Well, I think that's quite enough rambling for one day. Perhaps I'll expound on the basket theory tomorrow... ?