cyberspace junkyard

Lyric of the day
My sin - oh the bliss of the glorious thought
My sin, not in part, but the whole
Is nailed to the cross
And I bear it no more
Bless the Lord, bless the Lord, oh my soul!

Wow - these lyrics always take my breath away. Inspired writing.

Encounters
Why is it I can never recognise a pick-up line until it's too far into the conversation? You know, it's one thing when you're at Friday night drinks, or at a bar or club (hmmm... once in a blue moon!) and when you're with a group, and you're on your guard. I am now convinced that there is a breed of males out there that must think they'll have better luck running into people at bookstores, shopping centres and food courts. Mentally adding HMV to my list of places to keep my wits about me, along with photo stops, train stations, Sydney Uni library, the MLC food court and Grace Bros. You'd think I'd clue in a little more quickly by now!

I was browsing at HMV with Kaz when she got a phone call and we happened to pause a while in front of the TV screens they have showing movies throughout the day. While I patiently waited for her to finish, a guy on my right mumbled something - I replied "pardon?" and our ensuing conversation went something like this. Sound familiar, girls?

Him: Do you know what movie this is?
Me: Uh no, sorry. Maybe you can ask at the counter.
Him: Don't worry, it's not important.
Me: *inaudible grunt and brief smile. thinking about why on earth he'd ask if it wasn't important. Dang, now I want to know what it is*
Him: I think it's the Scorpion King.
Me: *relieved*Yeah, that sounds familiar
Him: Where are you from?
Me: *distracted*I'm half Indonesian, half Chinese.
Him: *Babbling something about being a recruitment consultant for Singapore and Hong Kong. Then something about just coming back from a trip*
Me: Uh huh, that's nice (or something to that effect)
Him: Do you work in the city?
Me: Yeah *starting to wish Kaz would save me from the boring conversation*
Him: What do you do?
Me: I'm a Business Analyst (thought this was safe)
Him: Wow! I specialise in Analyst Recruitment!
Me: Uh huh.
Him: Do you have a business card?
Me: *Ferreting through my bag. Pretending to look in my wallet. He spots one. Thankfully it is a generic Westpac team card*
Here you go. *highly suspicious, sending mental thoughts out to Kaz; save me! save me!*

Encounters like this just make me feel slightly embarrassed for some reason. I think someone wrote a book on how to start conversations with strangers in public places cos the strategies I've come across haven't really been that original. Maybe I'm being too harsh and it actually is really hard to meet new people.

Nah!

PS - got my Scarlet Pimpernel Encore CD, finally! hoorah!

I want...
Chocolate gelato. Mussst have it, my preciousssss.

On a completely surprising (but happy) note, I got a cake and an excellence award today at work. Normally, you would get a $50 gift voucher or something like that. Not only was I flabberghasted to be called into the management meeting (thought it was to see end of project stats), but the specially created award is for one of either

theatre tickets to the latest musical
dinner for two at "Level 41" or
dinner with a groups of friends at a restaurant of my choice

Arrrrggggh! Excited I am!

Insanity
While most normal (read: sane) are ensconsed in bed and dreaming the night away - I've just finished playing handyman.

3 hours of huffing, puffing and screwdriver burns later, I have a newly assembled desk and credenza. I'm sorry, but what sort of name is "credenza" anyway? Why can't they just say small cupboard? You know, cos that's what it is.

Oh, and my camcorder is on its way! It's coming by way of UPS, but I can almost guarantee the delivery guy won't be anything like the one in Legally Blonde. The first thing I'll do when it arrives is take a picture of my credenza!

Freedom
Yes! Only 2 more days of hermit-dom to go!

I am so unbelievably sick of reading my thesis over and over, trying to streamline and sanitise. It's like a bad cold that I can't shake. It just hangs around but it's getting its final dose of antibiotics on Wednesday - then I will be rid of the whole thing!

Like awesome!
Oh wow!
Like totally freak me out
I mean right on
My thesis woes will soon be gone!

Oops
Went out for groceries and came home with a washing machine and a digital camcorder.

Is that what they call retail therapy gone wrong? I prefer to call it Christmas shopping.

Friday Five
Now, don't get excited. There wasn't one last week and there isn't one this week either.

I'm sitting in front of my computer bemoaning the lack of Friday Fives while twiddling my thumbs biding my time while my current work project wraps up and I move to my new one (1st December! yay!). Ugh. Anyone got a question I can answer?? hee hee

Oh, but 5 days to go til I finish my Honours! Zippety doodah!

And just to really confuse the whole subject of this blob entry, I got my first (and early *gasp*) birthday present last night! Mum decided to buy me a corner desk / workstation for my room cos she was sick of me strewing my stuff all over the dining room table when I work / study. I'm ignoring the fact that it is purely for aesthetic reasons and convincing myself it's cos she remembered and decided to surprise me with an early gift. Though if you've been to my house, you'll understand the whole "aesthetic" thing.

Ooh, and more - one of my best friends (the girl I was a bridesmaid for earlier in the year) had her first daughter! Wahoo! She's not at all splotchy and gross-looking and the baby's okay too. *cheeky grin*. Actually, it was quite a few days ago, but this is my weird, excited post, so you're hearing about it now. Actually, that makes 2 friends, another friend had a girl as well, the next day.

Oh, and weird dreams last night! I woke up at regular intervals between 6 and 7am and felt like I was in the movie "Groundhog Day"! I kept re-dreaming the same Saturday morning, over and over again, and each time was a little different, a little more bizarre and sometimes just a nightmare! I think Tom Cruise managed to appear in one, and most of the students from my singing studio were in another. Truly bizarre.

Eep! That's all from me! Sorry for the disjointed entry.

Blogging comes of age
Hmm.... I'm searching for the critical news, commentary and debate that this article indicates I should have on my blog.

What's so amazing about grace
I've been thinking about God's grace in the past few days. You know, it's one of those concepts which gets tossed around pretty often - Christians sing about it, study it, talk about it, read about it - but once in a while it just blows you away. A friend of mine was hurt by someone recently, and our little trio that meets up in such "emergencies" found it hard to be rational, loving and act in a Godly way towards him. Thinking about it just made my blood boil and I had to pray that I wouldn't be judgemental but that I would be able to support my friend in the most loving way possible.

Anyway, it got me thinking about God's attitude towards us when we were in our deepest rejection of Him. Grace is something we don't deserve. I've been learning about how hard it is to be gracious, but really, it's just a characteristic of being Godly. It's much easier to hang onto hurt and retaliatory thoughts and much harder to let it go and look to God and how He loved us despite everything. Praying to God to thank Him for His grace and to pray that He will show me even more what it means to be gracious!

An early birthday present
I was expecting a parcel from Amazon early next week, containing a long awaited collection of my most-wished-for DVDs. What a surprise to find them on my doorstep today! Gosh, this is turning into a fantastic few days.

I'm going to be a good girl and not open the plastic wrap until after Wednesday, though. That's not going to stop me propping them up on the shelf in my room so I can admire them. So I guess, on Wednesday night, I'll be in front my rather large rear projection TV and doing a solo movie marathon of...

1. Lord of the Rings, Platinum Series Extended Edition
2. Sondheim at Carnegie Hall
3. Cinderella (the new musical version)
4. Le Corsaire (American Ballet Theatre version)
5. Excerpts from Jekyll and Hyde (in particular, "In His Eyes" and "Facade" - I'll probably skip most of the David Hasselhoff bits. Don't even know how to spell his name and don't particularly care)

I guess this is motivation for me to hurry up and finish doing the last bits of my thesis.

Aaarrrggghhhh....

No, no - I am disciplined and have much self-control.

Uh-huh.

The beginning of the end...
... of my Honours! Had my preliminary viva today (with my two supervisors, one of whom I've only seen twice in the entire 20 months I've been working on my thesis and the other whom I saw every week). It went surprisingly well (not at all like a job interview!) and now have several last minute little details to work out before my actual viva on Wednesday. Then I have a week to present my bound paper and that's it for my Honours (assuming I pass... eep!)

Though I am wondering what to do with the Arts part of my double degree, so might do a couple of coursework subjects next year. Hmmm... excited I am!

At long last
I have succumbed to the grip of high-speed Internet and got ADSL broadband installed yesterday.
I'm practically delirious with excitement. Which I'm sure will wear off. Eventually.

Study break
Errr.... keep taking mini-breaks from preparing for my viva next week and lo and behold, a new logo has materialised. Oops.

It went through about 6 incarnations (at 30 minute intervals!) but this is the final product cos I need to do a bit more study and then head to beddy-byes.

Can't quite decide whether or not it really goes with the whole feel of the new template though. Ugh. Reincarnating a blog takes so much brain space! Had a productive late afternoon though, making everything floaty and self-resizing. Me like.

Profundity II
My favourite Shakespeare sonnet (number 116)


Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O no, it is an ever-fixèd mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand'ring bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Profundity

Stop worry where you're going - move on
If you can see where you're going, you've gone
Just keep moving on
Stop worrying if your vision is new
Let others make that decision, they usually do
You keep moving on


Anything you do
Let it come from you
Then it will be new
Give us more to see


-- Sondheim

Milestones
I was talking with a couple of good friends yesterday about a recent event that had a major impact on one of their lives. It got me thinking about the milestones in my life. Tripping down memory lane...

First school
Well, the only one really, I was there from Pre-school to Year 12! Still, I reckon I learnt most things I know about manners, public speaking, languages, love of English and toasted cheese sandwiches there. Also the possibly less desirable cramming, handing in assigments late and dealing with "tall poppy syndrome". I wasn't sad to leave (had been seeing the Senior School guidance counsellor from year 10 onwards about wanting to get out and go to uni) but it's still a milestone.

First choir
Wow - the Australian Girls Choir was a huge part of my life from Year 5 to Year 8. Trekking to Gordon every Monday after school and moving up the ranks through to the Bel Canto. We had constant rehearsals, dance camps and concerts and I loved it! I owe my passion for harmony singing to AGC - if I hadn't been able to read music, I would never have gotten put into First Altos (even though I'm really a soprano) and the rest, as they say, is history.

First eisteddfod
Piano lessons from the age of four paid off and I ended up with a swag of trophies and an unhealthy competitiveness. Been trying to lose my whole one-up-manship nature for several years now, but when I need a reminder, I push aside my photo frames on the top of my bookshelf, cringe at my trophies for a while and then go about life as normal!

First trip to Europe
This was actually a month long school music tour of Germany, Austria and France in 1995. Introduced me to my favourite city (Salzburg) and just being in an atmosphere that thrived on culture and music was something else. (why oh why I am working for a bank?) I also felt the first serious pangs of friendship betrayal and it was ouchy. Really ouchy. Can I emphasise the ouchy-ness of this enough? But it taught me to keep my head up and not let things bother me, but keep my eyes on what's really important. Which is probably where I get my whole analytical unemotional attitude from.

First time on stage
Not just concerts, mind you, but treading the floorboards, smelling the greasepaint, hogging the spotlight and all that. A Midsummer Night's Dream in 1993 was one of the most amazing 3 months of my life. I learnt to act, I learnt to wear white, I learnt the backstage tricks and faux pas, I learnt about stage makeup, I learnt about the deep friendships you can only form in that kind of intense relationship with a group of people for a set time. As a girl, I was a very reserved, quiet type - I was wondering where the whole drama queen thing came from, and I think I found it. Once on stage, always on stage.

First funeral
I learnt to appreciate what I have and be thankful, because you never know when it might be taken from you. I miss my grandmother.

First love
My first serious relationship wasn't until uni. I fell head over heels in about a week and did all the things I used to (and still do) cringe at. Sentimentalism is not my forte (actions speak louder than words). Actually I'm going to digress slightly and state that sometimes what you stop yourself from saying or doing is just as important as what you do say or do. Anyway, I grew up a lot and realised that there is more to a relationship than chemistry, laughter and really, really embarrassing love letters.

First heartbreak
I think that this muscles you up emotionally and mentally. Taught me critical things about trust and honesty among humans and the realisation that God is sovereign and more than that, He loves me unconditionally and I can put my hope entirely in Him.

Relationship with God
I put this last cos it's had the most impact on my life. I've always been surrounded by Christians (half my family are involved in full time ministry!) but I first woke up to the gospel in Year 8, and my life really turned around at the end of Year 10. To quote a song...

He's my Saviour, Messiah, Redeemer and Friend
He's the Prince of Peace, and I will live my life for Him

Birthdays
I can't believe it is only 20 days until my birthday. I actually dislike my own birthday as a general rule. I think it stems from the elaborate parties I had as a kid (my first Maccas party when they still had fried chicken, Australia's Wonderland and my 15th at the Summit, to name a few!) followed by the heart-clenching feeling I got when I was a little older and you wake up realising your own family has forgotten your birthday.

Still, I suppose 24 is a better year than 21 or 25 (too much tradition).
For some reason, I've always wanted to get to the age of 28. I don't know what I'm expecting - I'm sure I won't feel any different once I reach that age, but still we've all got our little mirages, right?

This is strange...
It is rather weird to be blogging again. It's like I've been on long service leave and I come back and things are the same, but different. And then you have to spend time catching up on everything and getting back into the swing of things.

Since I'm blogging anyway, 2003 is shaping up to be very interesting indeed. 2002 is rapidly coming to a close, and with it, so are most of the things which I'm familiar with. I'm heading into unchartered territory and all I've really got to rely on is God as my compass. In fact, the only thing which is staying the same next year is my home (which is thankful, considering I just moved there this year!)

I've spent way too long furnishing the little box in which I've been existing and not enough time meditating on God's word and seeking His will. It's time to think outside the square and throw myself into whatever it is God would have me do as a servant of the gospel. Music's going to play a big part in my life next year (and it's about time too!) and together with a new job (or at least, new working conditions), visiting new churches, new ministries and new studies, I think I'm in for a huge challenge, obsessive control freak that I am.

Can't wait!

Okay...
Yes, I'm a girl. And yes, I've gone for the pink and silver look. So sue me. =)

Well, I'd forgotten how time-consuming blog templates are! I started from scratch at around 7pm and finished at 3:41am.
And I still made it to my 7:45am ferry.

Where's that straight-jacket?

Addiction

I knew it

Just shy of my 2 month anniversary of the mammoth attempt to shut down my blog, I'm in the middle of a redesign.

I'm so weak!